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Monday, April 25, 2005

Rock & Roll Jeopardy - Round Two

Part One.

Part Two.

We went to a commercial break with me in dead last. The show is taped in real time, with taping stopped only for any technical problems, or if Jeff trips on a tough name (which you’ll see in an upcoming clip). That means we had about a three and a half minute break until Round Two. During this time, several producers rushed the stage to talk to Jeff, each contestant, the camera crew, etc. One of the nicer producers walked up and asked me how I was doing.

“Well, I’ve been better,” I told her.

“I’m sure. John, you have to relax a little bit. Are you having buzzer problems?” Buzzer problems! Yes, I want to put it somewhere dark forever. “Believe it or not, every contestant has issues with the buzzer at first. You’ll get the hang of it. Just relax and watch for the last light to go off. Now, when the show comes back, Jeff is going to come over and talk to each of you a little bit to let the audience get to know you.”

Oh yeah…that. Before taping, a producer sat us down and told us to write down three music-related tidbits about ourselves to give Jeff some talking points. I wrote about being a copywriter and using music in advertising, how I DJed to help pay for college and one really embarrassing story that I was sure I wouldn’t be asked about.

You guessed it.

Click here to witness my shame, in handy QuickTime format!

I wince each time I watch that. What cracks me up is that most of the people who see that ask me the same thing – “Is Jeff Probst hitting on you??” No, I don’t think so. He’s just being a good host. However, I was out of my head at that moment, because all I was thinking about was the game. I had to come back and that meant mastering the buzzer. It was beyond me how someone who spent so much time on video games as a kid could have such horrible hand/eye coordin…

That was it! Treat it like a video game! Get in the zone, get in a mindless buzzing and answering groove, and quit THINKING.

And that was all I needed to do. Since I was in last place, I got to go first. And that’s all she wrote, Mary.

Click here to see the UTTER DOMINATION BEGIN.

If I had missed that Madonna question, I would have had to turn in my Gay Membership Card. When you watch that, you’ll see me laughing a bit after answering the Concrete Blonde question. That’s because when Jeff read it, he stumbled horribly on Johnette Napolitano’s last name so it came out something like Nuh-pole-lee-uh-tee-ay-no. I knew what he meant and kept going anyway. After that, we had to pause while Jeff read the name again so it could be dropped into the edited audio of the tape. You can’t even tell. The power of editing.

Round two continued much in that vein, with my buzzing in constantly and leaving the others in the dust. I was on auto-pilot, but then I did something dumb and started thinking again. Here’s the result:

Click here to see skyrockets in flight.

Yes, John, the group’s name was “The Skyrockets In Flight!” Dumbass. What’s funny is how Lynette is so used to not being to buzz in, she spaces out and forgets she has control of the board. Whoopsie.

Soon after, we got to the end of round two and to Final Jeopardy. This was it, I thought. I have about 10 grand…if the right category comes up, I’m betting it all and doubling my coin. C’monnnn, “Eighties One-Hit Wonders!” Please, please, please…

Click here to see the Final Jeopardy category.

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Next: The thrilling, pulse-pounding, senses-shattering conclusion! P.S. I win.

Fine Folks

"...and by hubris, I mean overweening pride!" - Johnny's Greatest Hits

25 Year Loop
Fucking Woof
David Live
The Night Before
Jobriath Was First
She's in Parties
She's in Parties Pt. 2
Tales From the Dragon Club
Tales From the Dragon Club Pt. 2
Okay, California...You Win
How to Sell Used CDs

Previously on "Johnny Is a Man"...

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