My whirlwind weekend began as I was whisked thru security at LAX to my first class passenger seat on a non-stop to Cleveland for a quick family visit. Several smart martinis later, I landed at Cleveland Hopkins International Airport where I was spotted at baggage claim by several homos as “that A-list gay blogger who occasionally posts.” Photos and autographs followed, then I made my quick getaway.

The evening continued as I met with Jockohomo at Aladdin’s Eatery where I enjoyed a pita and hummus appetizer and their famous Chunks O’Lamb ‘n Garlic, before we were recognized as “Gay-list A-listers” and were led and whisked into the VIP area where we noshed with other local celebs Ted Henry, Art Lefredo and the rotting corpse of Dorothy Fuldheim.

From there, it was on to the Cleveland Public Theater for a performance of Valra Jean Merman’s “I’m Not Paying For This”, recounted here. It was into the second song when Jocko and I were recognized as those “two gay glitterati bloggers” and we were ushered and led and whisked into the VIP area to enjoy the remainder of the show, escaping before the tedious meet & greet scheduled immediately after.

The night came to a close with drinks at the The Grid where we were tucked and led and ushered and whisked into the VIP area where we cajoled by adoring fans into live blogging on two oh-so-conveniently placed laptops overlooking the dancefloor. I treated fans to a new “step daddy never loved me” post and an acoustic version of “25 Year Loop”, while Jocko regaled the crowd with a post on obscure Indiana new wave and the value of Klimt, Degas and Rimbaud (bottom line - they sucked).

The next day I went to my nephew’s first communion, followed by yet another performance that evening at The Grid:

"This fire is outta control / we're gonna burn this city. Really."

Portions of the preceding story may actually be true.