That's No Crazy Cat Lady
"I really don't have any issues for the board this month, except that I can't find my set of spare keys. I know they're in my condo somewhere, but I can't find them for shit. In the meantime, I need an extra front door key - I can't have one made, because of the 'DO NOT DUPLICATE' stamp on it. I apologize, because I know we're all pretty vigilant about building security here.
Speaking of which, if you guys see a crazy old lady with bright red hair walking around the hallways and going in and out of my apartment, my mother is visiting for the week."
Hi, Mom! Welcome to Cali!