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Location: Long Beach, California, United States

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Poop Culture

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Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Dear Dan Savage...Again.

Well, it's nice to see my earlier advice to you seems to have had some effect. In your column this week,a young man writes:

I am a 15-year-old boy and I've never had a girlfriend and I wanted to ask you personally, how do you get girls? Like the best way to get them, so they think I am interesting. I await your orders.
Teenager Going To Waste

Hire a hooker! Oh, wait. No, you answered:

...don't despair, TGTW. Your awkward/ repulsive stage will pass. In the mean time, here's what you need to do: Worry less about getting your 15-year-old self laid, and start thinking about getting your 18- or 20-year-old self laid. Join a gym and get yourself a body that girls will find irresistible; read so that you'll have something to say to girls (the best way to make girls think you're interesting is to actually be interesting); and get out of the house and do shit—political shit, sporty shit, arty shit—so that you'll meet different kinds of girls in different kinds of settings and become comfortable talking with them.

Great advice. My only question now, is why does the straight kid get this advice, while the gay kid gets told to just hire a fucking escort?

Dan, Dan...oh, Dan.

I'm here. Run these things by me first.

Fine Folks

"...and by hubris, I mean overweening pride!" - Johnny's Greatest Hits

25 Year Loop
Fucking Woof
David Live
The Night Before
Jobriath Was First
She's in Parties
She's in Parties Pt. 2
Tales From the Dragon Club
Tales From the Dragon Club Pt. 2
Okay, California...You Win
How to Sell Used CDs

Previously on "Johnny Is a Man"...

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