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Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Final Jeopardy

Part One.

Part Two.

Part Three.


We went to the final commercial break and again we were swamped by producers. While the other contestants’ producers huddled and talked betting strategy, mine just asked me if I wanted any water. Don’t mess with success, I guess.

As soon as the Final Jeopardy category “Supergroups” appeared, my heart sank. Classic rock bullshit. Fuck. There goes my dream of doubling my money for a house downpayment. “Supergroups.” Visions of Asia, GTR and The Firm filled my head. Gross. I did some quick math in my head – I had $9,400. Lynette had $4,400. If she answered correctly and bet everything , she’d double up to $8,800. And she admitted to liking Bon Jovi, so this was a very real possibility.

If I bet $590, I’d still have $8,810, enough left over to win if I got it wrong. So, that’s what I wagered. I wasn’t taking any big risks here. I also took the time to scribble a little all-purpose note to everyone at home.

Click here to see Final Jeopardy.

“J” referred to two people specifically, my ex and best friend Jim, and my little sister Jennifer. I spent more time trying to write that little message than I did writing my answer. As a result, my handwriting looks atrocious.

When I realized I had finally won, I was on another planet I was so happy. Jeff announced my final winnings and I did the unthinkable, something so shameful and horrific, something I could never imagine myself doing:

yuck

I GAVE THE DREADED TWO-THUMBS UP SALUTE TO THE ENTIRE VH1 VIEWING NATION.

I don’t know why. I can’t explain it. I do, however, apologize profusely for doing it.

We stood by Jeff as instructed while the end credits ran. We were then ushered backstage while the next group of contestants took the stage for the next taping. A young, male production assistant congratulated me on my win and commented that my winnings was a significant amount for Rock & Roll Jeopardy, not the most ever given away, but up there.

“You should take me to dinner!” he chirped. Hmm.

I signed a few release forms, including one that stated I would be mailed a check up to six months AFTER my show aired. If for some reason my show was never aired (for example, if VH1 blew up or just merely canceled the show), I would not be getting my hard won cash. Yikes.

And with that, it was over. I was free to walk the lot back to my car. No escort, no family or friends to run up and hug me and congratulate me. They were all back in Ohio. Sort of anti-climactic.

But six months later, after the show had finally aired, that $8,810.00 check made it all better.

Fine Folks

"...and by hubris, I mean overweening pride!" - Johnny's Greatest Hits

25 Year Loop
Fucking Woof
David Live
The Night Before
Jobriath Was First
She's in Parties
She's in Parties Pt. 2
Tales From the Dragon Club
Tales From the Dragon Club Pt. 2
Okay, California...You Win
How to Sell Used CDs

Previously on "Johnny Is a Man"...

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