Put on your fucking crash helmets 'cuz it's Monday fucking morning and I'm a grumpy bitch today.

• Sometimes I cruise some of the more popular "gay" blogs (no, not YOU, Joe ), and wonder why I fucking even bother. No, I'm not naming names, but I gotta wonder why so many people read some of that navel gazing shit. I know it's basically a 14-year old girl's diary but shit...some of these motherfuckers have THOUSANDS of readers.

• Certain Mexicans that I have a six year history with need to shit or get off the fucking pot. No, that's not a thinly veiled drug reference.

• "Never blog about work." FUCK THAT. Upheaval is imminent. If you know me, you know why. Prepare.

This song conveys today's aggression perfectly. It's been on an endless loop since 8:45 this morning. I CANNOT WAIT TO LIFT FUCKING HEAVY THINGS LATER TODAY.

Jesus, I might as well do steroids. I have all the symptoms (bald, cranky, huge penis) already, so why not?