Secret Twin Language
While we hang out in the flesh every so often (moreso these days, thank goodness), we "speak" nearly every day, all day long via IM. As a result, we've sort of created our own, highly bizarre, impenetrable Secret Twin Language. A sample, with annotation:
JOHNNY: oh, GIBET1
MATTY: yes, marie?2
JOHNNY: my friend roy just called me with a story i must share
JOHNNY: : his lazy b/f is a "personal trainer"
roy pays all the billce 4, etc.
JOHNNY: : so the b/f has been depressed cuz he's in his 30s, no career, no degree, etc.
JOHNNY: : so he sleeps about 15 hours a day, no lie
JOHNNY: : last night, he came home from LA where he had a client and he was just standing in the kitchen behind the island
JOHNNY: : just standing
JOHNNY: : and roy was all "what are you doing?" meditating.
JOHNNY: : "you are not meditating, the tv is too loud. what are you doing" NOTHING, leave me alone.
JOHNNY: : HE PEED INTO A BOTTLE IN THE KITCHEN BECAUSE HE DID NOT WANT TO WALK TO ONE OF THEIR FOUR BATHROOMS.
MATTY: 666!6 been there.
MATTY: so did he freak out and say "You are crazy!!! Now take that thing out of the bottle and put it in my mouf!"
JOHNNY: : no BETTER!
JOHNNY: : roy is all "that's disgusting - i don't want you peeing in my kitchen" OH, YOUR KITCHEN. "yes, my kitchen...it's disgusting"
JOHNNY: : well, IIIIII don't like the smell of YOUR foreskin!!!!
MATTY: 666!6 Gayce4 are awful.
1. "Gibet" is "hunny" - this originated when Matty tried to type "hunny" to me and his fingers were one key over from the center of the keyboard, possibly due to cocaine.
2. "Marie" is our "Mary." We felt Mary was too old school and faggy, so we butched it up a bit.
3. "435" is "yes." Numbers are the new letters!
4. "billce", "bearce", any plural word becomes more faggy when you replace the "s" with "ce". Say it out loud. See?
5. "Yalse" is simply "yes" with more letters.
6. "666!" is "LOL!" We felt LOL was too cliche'. See also #3.
7. "Who-aut" is "what" spelled in the overly phonetic candence as spoken by Florence Henderson in "The Brady Bunch." "Who-AUT??"
P.S. The Roy story is 100% true.