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Location: Long Beach, California, United States

Music Geek - Rock & Roll Jeopardy Champ Certified!

Poop Culture

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Friday, August 12, 2005

I need some fine wine, and you, you need to be nicer

The Cardigans are coming back yet again, this time with the excellently named "Super Extra Gravity", which I'm hoping refers to a return to their "Gran Turismo" sound, based on the first single, "I Need Some Fine Wine".

It's not out until October (no U.S. release is slated), but I have the single right here. Our first Friday commute jam of the day.

Our second is the new single from the Kaiser Chiefs (big ups to Michael at Silence Is a Rhythm for turning me on to them months ago). "Oh My God" is a nice little slice of 1994-era Britpop, with a lazy, almost rapped verse which turns into a football chant of a melancholy "OH MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT - I'VE NEVER BEEN THIS FAR AWAY FROM HOME!" Get it here.

And why aren't you watching "Passions" yet? I've talked about it at length here, but last week was the soap's most sublimely goofy week ever. I was in camp heaven. Y'see, the town of Harmony got hit by an earthquake when witch Tabitha and her demon daughter Endora accidently crossed spell streams a la "Ghostbusters". This in turn caused a tsunami to hit town. Funny AND sensitive to world events! So basically, the town got fucked up for a week.

I mean, poor Katherine Crane, the wrinkled matriarch of the show, was swept up in the resulting flood. Luckily, she was able to snatch onto a coffin (!!!!) that just happened to be floating by, causing her to yelp out this gem of dialogue:

Click here to see Katherine go coffin sailing.

Oh, did I forget to mention the coffin just happens to belong to her long-dead sister, Rachel?

And then, crotchety old Mrs. Wallace is close to drowning and calls on God to save her:

Mrs. Wallace prays for a sign - and gets it.

...and she then surfs out of Harmony:

Mrs. Surf Doggy Wallace

Meanwhile, psychotic Liz is trapped with her sister's fiance, Julian, in a meat locker. See, Liz hates her sister more than anything, so why not fuck her fiance? However Julian's not havin' it:

"Make love to me, Julian...OR I'LL KILL YOU!"

See, fellas? When a woman threatens, "Fuck me or I'll kill you!", just go ahead and fuck her. I mean, really.

And the cherry on this campy sundae has to be the aforementioned Katherine and her lover, Martin, who's cheating on his wife Pilar to be with Katherine, sailing down the streets of Harmony on a coffin like lovers on a gondola in Venice, until they just happen to ram thru the front door of....PILAR'S HOUSE!


Awk-ward! I mean, if you're going to crash into a house riding a coffin during a tsunami, try to make sure it's not your lover's wife's house! Tacky!

Now, why aren't you watching this show again?

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Feel Good Story

Here. Watch the "Runaway Bride" mow lawns as part of her community service.


Fine Folks

"...and by hubris, I mean overweening pride!" - Johnny's Greatest Hits

25 Year Loop
Fucking Woof
David Live
The Night Before
Jobriath Was First
She's in Parties
She's in Parties Pt. 2
Tales From the Dragon Club
Tales From the Dragon Club Pt. 2
Okay, California...You Win
How to Sell Used CDs

Previously on "Johnny Is a Man"...

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