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Thursday, January 18, 2007

Commemorate your last bender...

...with this tasteful statue that recreates the seminal moment when Iron Man realized he was a hardcore alkie!



I only wish I was making this up. Here's the link to this super-classy product described thusly (emphasis mine):

A Diamond Select Release! Tony Stark has never been a stranger to vice, a fact captured perfectly in this Marvel Milestones release! Taken from the shocking cover of Iron Man #128, this 11' statue features a working mirror along with the two most challenging aspects of Tony Stark's life - the bottle and the mask. Sculpted by Art Asylum and limited to 1000 pieces, this statue features a hand-numbered base with matching box and Certificate of Authenticity.

What's that? Oh, that's my Iron Man Discovers He's An Alcoholic statue! It goes perfectly there next to my Speedy Shoots Up Commemorative Plate and my Kurt Cobain Suicide uncut Trading Cards sheet!

| posted by John at 3:06 PM

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

BREAKING NEWS!

NBC Cancels "Passions"

Of note:

Because "Passions" is such a strong brand among young femmes, it's believed NBC will try to find a way to keep the show alive somewhere other than the network. An Internet platform is a possibility, while NBC might also talk to Disney to see if the conglom would be interested in producing a shortened version of the sudser for its successful SoapNet cabler.

Another potential home might be News Corp.'s barely breathing MyNetwork TV, which has had no luck drawing auds with its cheaply produced telenovelas.

Heh. "Young femmes."

While it doesn't look good, there's still a small sliver of hope, much like the small hope we all cling to each time show heroine Sheridan is killed (eight times so far).

Ah, Tabby...we hardly knew ye.



I said, tell me something good!

| posted by John at 12:17 PM

| posted by John at 11:32 AM

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Club Value Stamp

Doctor Doom says:

"HAAAAAYYYYY, gurl! Welcome to Club Value Stamp! There is some serious shade all up in hurr tonight...you will NOT believe some of the bitches and what they thought they could get away with. I mean, look..."


"Hot pants are bad enough, but hot pants with a red loincloth and peekaboo booby side slits? Hunny, please. You're built, we get it."


"Now, Hela? That bitch is flawless. Work, work, work! That's how it's done. Unlike..."


"...Mizz Britney Firecrotch Lohan, here. Hey gurl, the entire city can see your poo-nay-nay!"


"Again, flawless. From Asgard to Infinity, you can't hate."


"Love you, love your gown."


"Mmmm, loves me some ruffneck banjee. Especially how they dance....haaaayyyy!"


"But is that tired old bear VOGUEING??? Oh, hunny. Nothing's worse."


"Unless it's some tweaked-out green lizard with her hands in the air. C'mon, we're outta here."

| posted by John at 11:01 AM

Fine Folks

"...and by hubris, I mean overweening pride!" - Johnny's Greatest Hits

25 Year Loop
Fucking Woof
David Live
The Night Before
Jobriath Was First
She's in Parties
She's in Parties Pt. 2
Tales From the Dragon Club
Tales From the Dragon Club Pt. 2
Okay, California...You Win
How to Sell Used CDs

Previously on "Johnny Is a Man"...

Boo!


High-level Problems to Have in December, 2008


Pop Logic Problems


Mary Hartski! Mary Hartski!


The long-awaited return of Phagz on 45


Please excuse me from gym - I've got this terrible...


Shady Bullshit


Dear Lorne:


I Wonder What Linda Lavin...


"Band montage!"

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