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Monday, May 05, 2008

Why I Will Forever Miss "Passions"

From this week's listings:

Julian is unable to sleep, forever haunted by the loss of his penis. Vincent is stunned when his water breaks, and he goes into labor!

I mean, there it is, people.

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Tuesday, December 11, 2007

"Passions" cancelled - again. "Passions" revived - again.

In a major case of deja vu, DirecTV announced this week it would not be renewing super-campy soap Passions for another season. The show goes on an extended holiday hiatus, but returns in February and will wrap up in August.

But another suitor may help the show dodge oblivion yet again (it was originally cancelled by NBC earlier this year) - NBC, who still owns and produces the show, may place it on their newly-acquired Oxygen Network. Since I never took the DirecTV plunge and have been watching the show occasionally at a friend's house (P.S. Nothing has happened. Nothing.), this is potentially good news.

We can all get our Tabby, Norma and Edna fix again!

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Thursday, May 31, 2007

Save a Pimp!

Word is going 'round that "Spike", aka "Herbert Lester", will not be joining the rest of the cast of Passions as the campy soap makes its move from NBC to DirecTV this fall.

This cannot stand. Spike is more than just Harmony's resident sleazeball and go-to person when you want a dirty deed done. Spike is the voice and conscience of the Passions viewer, providing the show with plenty of fourth-wall breaking commentary on how stupid the other characters and show situations are. He's also one of the few actors on the show capable of selling the funny. Let's do a quick rundown of what Spike has done for Harmony:

• Provided a bar for Harmony's underage partiers to get shitfaced
• Pimped out former goody-goody and Marc Cosmetics saleswoman Jessica Bennet after getting her hooked on pills
• Married said Jessica to prevent her from testifying against him in court
• Knocked up said Jessica in order to sell her baby on the black market! ("...twice as much if the eyes stay blue!")
• Murdered many of Jessica's johns behind her back, then made her think she did it
• Provided many Harmony locals with the muscle they needed to get their dirty deeds done (Alistair, Julian, even Sheridan)
• Shot show matriarch Pilar Lopez-Fitzgerald in an attempt to finally give her character a storyline (quickly abandoned/never resolved)
• Involved in countless fistfights with Noah Bennet, Ethan Winthrop, Sam Bennet, Chris Boothe, yet never won a single one.

Look, just Save Spike!

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Wednesday, April 25, 2007

"Passions" Dodges Cancellation Yet Again - Homos Nationwide Rejoice

The plucky, campy little soap that refuses to die has dodged the cancellation bullet once more. NBC announced today that "Passions" will continue for a 9th season, albeit with a move to DirecTV's original channel line-up. A few of the conditions attached to the move are budgetary - the show will be cut down to four hours per week (a good move, trust me) and the budget will be slashed yet again.

I suppose this means some characters will be cut and Tabitha will be reduced to casting one spell per sweeps period.

While the Variety article has some "if" and "still to be confirmed" language, I have some insider info that says this is a done deal, signed, sealed & delivered. Will this convince some (like me) to convert to DirecTV or will the show still be streamed online? We'll find out, I suppose.

As far as this dusty old blog goes, I have to apologize for the lack of posts lately. I've been a little swamped, plus very happy with Baby Chutney - combine those with a bit of writer's block and you end up with little dribs and drabs. I believe I'm back now, so let's see if we can't get something up here at least every other day, 'mmkay?

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Fine Folks

"...and by hubris, I mean overweening pride!" - Johnny's Greatest Hits

25 Year Loop
Fucking Woof
David Live
The Night Before
Jobriath Was First
She's in Parties
She's in Parties Pt. 2
Tales From the Dragon Club
Tales From the Dragon Club Pt. 2
Okay, California...You Win
How to Sell Used CDs

Previously on "Johnny Is a Man"...

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