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Location: Long Beach, California, United States

Music Geek - Rock & Roll Jeopardy Champ Certified!

Poop Culture

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Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The Mirror, Crack'd

Gay? Here's what gay porn "star" Erik Rhodes thinks of you (original spelling intact):

Part of the problem that i have with Gay men regardless if they are a Gay forrest Ranger, science teacher or coach for retards, it is that you can still never trust them. Yeah your brother my lead a very noble lifestyle and everyone he comes in contact see's a great act but behind close door or later that night he turns into a pervert that has fucked everyone at his gay local bar. Your gay science teacher hires hookers on a regular basis and has HIV and yet won't tell his life partner and the Gay retard coach is a size queen that attends regular SM party's where he gets tied up and has cloths pins cliped to his cock and balls.

Being that i have worked as an escort for much of my gay life i have seen what men do, and who they are and have come to the conclusion that regardless of the great life they lead infront of everyone, they all have so many skeleton in their closest that it could make you sick if you only thought of all the shit any of your ex's have done behind your back that you will never know about. That the truth regardless of what you wanna tell yourself.

So fuck the fact that some queer has a good job, it doesnt mean that they are not truely fucked up and perverted in there head and you just dont know about it.


Sad, sad, sad. Seeing as how I've yet to do porn, ingest any number of random chemicals, live in the gay bar ghetto, fuck D-list "reality stars," or be an escort slash whore, I don't think Mr. Rhodes needs to be wagging any fingers at anyone. Remember, when you point the "Gays Are Awful!" finger, three others are pointing right back up your butt.

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Thursday, December 20, 2007

Random Notes

• Thank you, Jocko, for totally calling out the Mika CD as one of the worst music releases of 2007. As I commented there, I have a theory the only people who truly enjoy this preening, screeching, over-hyped mess are straight women who consider themselves "fag hags" and constantly try to foist this steaming, oaty pile on their gay "friends". Quick rule of thumb: If Perez Hilton raves about it, it's cloying shit. See also, The Gossip.

• Spotted this morning at my local $tarbuck$ - Homeless Man With Crutches On a Laptop!



That sure doesn't look like Monster.com to me, mister! Also, you can't see it too well from the pic, but resting on his little grocery cart is the original HP box it came in when he stole it from the Wal*Mart across the street.

• I love Ringo. See Lost In The '80s later today now for proof.

• Shopping for Christmas gifts at Sears is entirely acceptable in this mortgage meltdown economic environment, despite what your own personal Baby Chutney may tell you. Wal*Mart, however, no.

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Thursday, July 05, 2007

"Corn is, like, my most hated thing in the world. Seriously."

I'm all for meeting new people. Honest. I'm not a total hermit ogre. But I have to admit, a good number of new people I meet are total assholes.

Allow me to explain, dear reader, before you accuse me of being the problem. I mean, I'm pretty much fucking perfect, as you're well aware. I meant to say "a good number of new people I meet IN LOS ANGELES are total assholes.

Example: Baby Chutney and I attend a fabulously gay pool party in the Valley for the Fourth. The host, his partner and several of his friends are as nice and friendly as can be. But as you know, when it comes to a gathering of homos, there must always be one fly in the Elbow Grease®. Said idiot in this case would be the Anger Twink who arrived about 90 minutes late (alone...imagine!), took off his shirt to reveal a decent chest complete with festering red razor burn (ew.), and proceeded to take a steaming, oaty, leafy dump on anything anyone said the rest of the party.

Sample dialogue (all 100% true and Chut-Chut Verifiable) - I'm talking to another guest about our Tivo addictions and how excited we are about Big Brother 8 premiering tonight.

ANGER TWINK (interrupting): I don't watch television AT ALL. I just don't like anything it has to offer. I can't understand how anyone could watch anything on it.

Silence.

Not ten minutes later, I'm in the kitchen grabbing an ear of sweet corn (and no, I did not repeat my father's jokes below - decorum, people!). Anger Twink enters behind me and grabs a hamburger (no bun, she's on Atkins!). I figure, what the hell, I'll try again.

ME: This sweet corn is excellent.

ANGER TWINK (immediately, like she was rehearsing this line for minutes beforehand in case it came up): Corn is, like, my most hated thing in the world. Seriously.

ME: Oh. Take THAT, Osama! You've been replaced!

ANGER TWINK: (blank stare) What?

So, to sum up, LA twinks are awful and Chut Chut, please never make me go out into that world alone ever again.

In other news, here's today's MOST AWESOME YOUTUBE THING EVER. Make sure you at least give the queen a chance to make her über-dramatic entrance at :25 seconds in before you close it:



Move over, Dramatic Chipmunk! There's something queerer!

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Thursday, March 15, 2007



A little bit of background for those new to this scandal...

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Fine Folks

"...and by hubris, I mean overweening pride!" - Johnny's Greatest Hits

25 Year Loop
Fucking Woof
David Live
The Night Before
Jobriath Was First
She's in Parties
She's in Parties Pt. 2
Tales From the Dragon Club
Tales From the Dragon Club Pt. 2
Okay, California...You Win
How to Sell Used CDs

Previously on "Johnny Is a Man"...

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